Entire City Endorses Donald Trump (The Mis-Adventures of Omar and Abdul)
City of Cuervo Endorses DONALD TRUMP
(The adventures of Abdul and Omar, Chapter 1)
By Ben B. Boothe, Sr. Writer, creator and owner of this article.
Downtown Cuervo, New Mexico
Just imagine. An entire city has endorsing Donald Trump for President! Envision a 50-foot-long billboard along I-40 stating “Cuervo Is Trump Country" in Cuervo, New Mexico. Cuervo is a ghost town about 70 miles east of Albuquerque, New Mexico with only 5 residents. The Indians were here first, but left. The Spanish came to Cuervo in 1,550, and left. The Anglo’s came by in about 1846 but left when the Apache’s showed up. The Anglo railroad came here in 1902, but stopped stopping in Cuervo in 1910, and left. With only 20 residents left Interstate 40 came through the middle of town, and evicted the rest of Cuervo, they left. Now, there are 5 people there and a lot of ghosts. It seems that most of the ghosts left too! What do you call a person from Cuervo? We call them, Cuervoyants! Probably because after living under the hot sun there it is rumored that people see ghosts and apparitions. But what would one expect from a ghost town?
Site of the dreamed Trump "Take Back our Country" Golf Club, Cuervo
Jerry Gladdish founder of Duke City Realty in Albuquerque told us that billboards require a state license and that the Democrats in New Mexico would probably demand that such a billboard be taken down, but no doubt Trump would call this a dirty trick of Hillary, or the Republican Party and tell the people of Cuervo to "Take their country back and hit anyone in the nose that messes with his sign".
Steve Witte, a Republican who loves Trump said
"As Cuervo develops because of the progressive message of the Trump billboard, Republicans like myself would like to see a section of Cuervo restricted to Cuervoyants only" because "you either have it or you don't".
He thinks that "Signal lights there should only allow right hand turns". He does not want any “Yield” signs and only “Stop” signs and Red Lights. While he is suspicious of the color Red, he was reminded that "Red" is the Republican color on most election nights. “Green lights are considered more suspicious, especially if someone uses the green light as an excuse to turn left…” he pronounced.
Cuervo is a place of potential, see in the photo a “Fixer upper” For Sale, in Cuervo, New Mexico.
We spoke to a man while seeking out the mayor and he asked us to protect his privacy thus we will call him "Mayor Red Nick" (pronounced Nick) He has the only thriving business which appeared to be a wrecker truck used to repossess (steal) vehicles and send the parts and often rumored entire vehicles to Mexico. Mayor Red Nick said in an under estimated modest way:
"Trump stands for progress and we could really use progress in Cuervo" a comment that led to rumors that the city might donate land (Bare ugly desert) for a new Trump golf course.
Immediately Democrats from New Mexico cried foul play and said Trump could not accept gifts over $1,000, unless it was from a big corporation that the Supreme Court ruled was a live rich person. But political bribery charges were set aside when a famous appraiser said that the land gift in question had little value because of environmental concerns, litter from the ancient ghost town and a host of rattle snakes. Also it was considered by the appraiser to be too flat for a golf course, the appraiser reported.
Not to be deterred, Mayor Red Nick threatened to call for a citywide demonstration and a "sock in the nose" to anyone "Who messes with our proposed Trump course". He then dropped a bombshell. "The new Cuervo golf club will be private with the early membership limited to 'Cuervoyants".
This brought forth an immediate response nationally from the American Civil Liberties group representing the Gay Lesbian movement and the NAACP immediately assigned attorneys to research and legally define "Cuervoyants". A representative of the Webster Dictionary company who for reasons of privacy asked to be called "Mr. Word Smith" said..."As near as we can determine the etymology of the word Cuervoyants means "A person with birth, origin or residency in Cuervo who has strange ideas and visions perhaps brought about from Mescal or excessive exposure to sunlight". A legal suit was prepared at the Supreme Court by the AFLCIO, joined by the NAACP, GAY Lesbian communities and a strange looking couple from the Governor's office of NM demanding to be included as Cuervoyants.
Across the country other responses were voiced. Mike McGhee of Mountain View, Arkansas who is Imperial Potentate Ruler of the Daisy Red Rider BB Gun Club of the UP ON The Roof Gang, has called for all members to “Rendezvous in Cuervo, circle the billboard three times and then upon his signal, shoot the billboard in a special ceremony.” He said "Aim for Trumps small hands".
(Walmart reported sales of Daisy Red Rider BB guns "going through the roof") which alerted the FBI. The FBI stated "We may have to limit BB's to one box per person per week." and it has been rumored that Homeland Security is quietly hoarding BB’s. Jimmy Smith, gunsmith in Clovis, New Mexico was heard to say: "I think Obama wants to take away our Daisy Red Rider BB Guns" and his sales went up ten fold ( he sold 10 of them in Clovis). Our sources in DC tell us that people who buy Daisy Red Rider BB Guns, have been put on a special security watch, but thus far while they may not be able to get on an airplane carrying a Daisy BB Gun, they can walk into bars or malls and shoot the waitresses to sting their posteriors and vulgar derelicts on the toes who hang around. It was this fact that so confused Omar and Abdul, with ISIS but, I am getting ahead of myself.
THE MAYOR AND IMA BIGOT
The Mayor fixated on how to get a golf course for free, to help "redevelop" Cuervo and secretly attract someone, anyone to buy his place. So the mayor called Ima Bigot (pronounced “Big O” with a French accent) in for consulting. Ima raises chickens and names each after a congressman, because she says "They are all dumb clucks". The Mayor has a soft spot for fried chicken and a softer spot for Ima Bigot (pronounced Big O, with a French accent).
“Ima, I have three problems, perhaps four" started the Mayor.
#1. "The golf club is too flat"
#2. "We can’t afford to build it and need someone to dig holes for sand-traps and make it not so level."
#3. "We need to attract new investors, preferably someone who thinks this is “Mexico” and an exotic place for a country club. The Trump sign and endorsement is great, but those Trump followers don’t have money and we need ‘country club types' who are rich and want to be elite members and perhaps rich people who go to church and like to buy titles."
#4. "I do not want anyone moving to Cuervo who is different of inferior” he said.
Ima Bigot looked at him with questioning eyes. She thought. “Hmmmm, you, drive a beat up wrecker truck with filthy hands, sweaty old hat, in dirty overalls and worn out work boots, living in little more than a shack, in a arid desert and you don’t want anyone inferior to you? I don’t think that is a problem.” But discretion was her gift, and instead, she kept her thoughts to herself.
Ima Bigot thought a few moments and said: “I have the answer, Mayor Red Nick."
- "We invite 2 members of ISIS to our new country club to blow it up and as a bonus so they won’t get bored, they could cut off the heads of my pet chickens, I call them, Congressman Smith and Congressman Jones and serve their bodies in a Barbecue".
- "The idea is to have them bomb the desert and use the bomb pits for sand traps. Then we don’t have to pay for heavy equipment to slope and landscape the course."
- "Britain has a new breed of angry people eager for ‘Control of our country’, let’s advertise as a resort in ‘Mexico’ and they can be Charter members of an exclusive club. Those British are like Trump voters on steroids now, let’s get ‘em while they are hot. They are all “Wanna Be’s” of the rich people they like to hate. Besides they don't know the difference between Mexico and New Mexico, we'll get them here and get their money!"
- "We create God’s 9-hole course, and it is used to keep us legal. We use it to screen out the undesirables. We'll let God to the membership rejections” She said with a smile. (Now Ima Bigot (Big O with French Accent) was the daughter of a travelling preacher who sold snake oil on the side as a healing tonic, and she knew the power and persuasive power of religion on people.)
Within a few weeks, Abdul and Omar arrived, fresh from their Caliphate and somewhat more relaxed because they didn't have to worry about drones bombing them every moment. They came wearing black, but in the New Mexico sun quickly shed the black garb and flag for Levi’s and T-Shirts.
They enthusiastically started blowing up the desert and with each blast, said "Allahu Akbar" and two old men (hard of hearing) out supervising the position for the sand traps misunderstood them to say "All at the bar" and sped off to Clovis for a drink leaving Omar and Abdul alone in a cloud of dust. Omar said to Abdul, "These people are crazy." They slowly began to think that they might have made a mistake when they realized that the two Congressmen were chickens.
Abdul said to Omar "These people are a little eccentric but they are just as "control obsessed" as our leaders, but we are here, and it is a long journey. If we go back and tell the truth in the Caliphate, they will surely cut off out heads.” Omar cried, tears of
horror streaking down his dust and tear muddied face:
“What are we to do? We amputate the heads of 2 chickens for a
bar-b-que and blow holes in the desert to build a golf country club. We will be the laughing stock of the world!”
Abdul thought a moment and said: “To save face just post on Twitter that we beheaded Congressman Smith and Congressman Jones, threw their heads on the ground and blew up the golf course. Attach a photo of a blast and smoke cloud."
Then he hesitated and spoke very slowly. "But tell them back at the Caliphate that we have other targets, so we are not going home. I saw an ad from a company called a "Headhunter" company. With our experience beheading people, we might get a good job there. Let's go check it out."
Omar replied, with a bit of hope:
"I kind of like this wacky country. Here after a day of blowing things up, people wash their bodies, people eat, watch TV and go to a bar for a cold beer. Sometimes, they go to movies and date pretty blonde girls. Back at the Caliphate we have to sit on the ground and pray that we don’t get beheaded or have to blow ourselves up. There after we date a girl who is so hidden under a black veil, we can't even kiss her. If we do kiss her, we have to cut her head off. It is better in America, if you want a long term relationship. Here if you want to go to heaven, you just take a dip in a river, and it’s ok, they sing to you and pretty girls without a black sheets over them come help dry your hair. I like America” he said dreamily.
Downtown shopping district of Cuervo, New Mexico, in photo above
So that is how Akbar and Omar began their journey of exploration and unusual experiences in America, it all began with the Cuervo billboard, when the entire city endorsed and voted for Donald Trump for President.
How ironic that it was with the help of ISIS that the people of Cuervo managed to build the “Trump” (take back my country) Golf course for free. The town was vitalized. Well that and the call from Britain from the newly liberated Brexit bunch who were free of the EU and crazy to imitate the rich and powerful people who they spent a lifetime hating with envy. This is how the name of the golf course was changed.
The new independent Britain wanted a satellite national country club in Mexico, as a way to renew the old British cast system and by mistake answered the advertisement of Ima Bigot (Be Go, with a French accent). When they called Mayor Red Nick in Cuervo, New Mexico he told them, that "Yes this is Mexico, one of the newer and better parts, called 'New Mexico', and yes a section of Cuervo could be a colony of the new “Take our country back” Britannia, right next to the Cuervoyant section of town. But, it would come with a cost, to Britain. They would have to pay for the “Colony” with a shipload of green grass and a sprinkler irrigation system...all was agreed and the one green spot between Albuquerque and Texas now can be seen by satellite as the newly named Donald Trump British "Retake our Britain" Golf Club. The club has a specific “British” accent, rather like “Eliza Doolittle of My Fair Lady” before she was educated. There is a special "Don't tread on me" fairway for non Cuervoyants that has no grass but now has over 300 rattlesnakes in the sand traps to make it the most thrilling game in the world. Well, as Ima Bigot (Bi Go, French Accent) explained it in a live interview with Boothe Global Perspectives,
“It is against the law to discriminate against Blacks, Jews, Mexicans, Frenchmen, Middle Easterners, Muslims and especially those Radical Islamic Wahhabi idiots…. you know….anyone else who is not like us, so we decided to let God do it, they can’t throw him in jail.”
When asked for an explanation she said:
“Well if anyone shows up with the wrong kind of look, our Country Club By Laws say: ‘We do not discriminate, we let God decide about that.”
“You see, we make them play a ‘qualifying’ 9 hole course, with 18 sand traps, all filled with rattlesnakes. If God tells the snakes to bite them, then they do not qualify. If God lets them get out without being snake bit, we let them join the club.”
The reporter asked, “How many snakes are out there?” Ima Bigot explained without hesitation. “Initial count of 182, but the number is growing daily as we clear the snakes off of the main, pretty green down the way. We have a goal of 300 snakes per sand trap.”
The NAACP changed their legal strategy to a legal action calling to change the description of Fairway to "Golf area of color" and gay lesbians dropped their legal suit with a compromise called the "Go get a room" settlement of no public kissing on fairways (Golf Areas of Color) in exchange for 30 min in a room without windows, but with a TV with special movies, provided by the club. But members of either group, are still required to “Qualify” before allowing full membership privileges.
Thus far, none have made it through the qualifying course, with two exceptions. One enterprising Mexican fellow named Jose Madrid Coronado Baca was disqualified when he came off of the 9-hole course with 32 new rattlesnake belts for sale. An Apache was asked to leave, when he was caught cooking fresh rattle snakes over a camp fire and selling snake bites roasted on sticks. Neither one managed to join the Donald Trump Cuervo “Retake our Britain” Country Club, but both profited financially by their experiences there.
Trump insisted that women and Middle Easterners must qualify by playing 9 holes on the rattlesnake course, barefooted and the rules state that if they don't get bitten they can start their new memberships caddying for the Cuervoyants. The Mexican Mafia was given a case of Tequila a day to serve as bouncers with an understanding that they would stop robbing and killing Gringos while in Cuervo. They also had to swear that they would not demonstrate against Trump, to which one blurted out a secret "But he paid us to demonstrate to get the press.." before someone shut him up. Also they were told if they stole the ISIS flag and replaced it with the Mexican flag, they would get 6 cases of cold beer. Since then, Omar and Abdul have become drinking buddies with the Mexican Mafia group and seem to have something in common, when it comes to people losing their heads. The town has prospered with people driving up in luxury cars, Mercedes Benz, Bentley’s, Roll’s Royce’s to buy a lot in the new “Take back our country” British section of Cuervo, so that they can live next to, and eventually become Cuervoyants. But the British quickly built their own cast oriented British Club. While drinking, British members were heard to say: “Ah, this is like the old Britain, before we had things such as equal rights or wimpy tolerance for different inferior people. Isn’t it great by Jove!”
When Trump was elected President, he came to Cuervo, landing on the 18th hole in a helicopter. As he looked at the huge rattlesnake infested desert, and the spot of green for the richest and wealthiest of Britain he realized that none of the 5 original residents of Cuervo lived here anymore. “What happened to them?” he said, just before his speech. “Oh, they sold their land, and moved to Canada.” His beautiful blonde secretary said.
“Well, that is the new America, I plan to build, just like Cuervo!” he smiled.
The national and international political repercussions of an entire city endorsing and voting for Trump are not to be denied and hard to analyze. Bernie Sanders was seen early one morning shooting at the billboard with a gun manufactured in his home state, as the sun rose. He muttered "the system is rigged" and local people swore that they saw Trump's billboard head nod as Bernie walked away with head bowed.
(This is a novelette, a happy farce and nothing expressed herein is considered to have, by relationship or coincidence, any connection with reality or any live person or place. Any truth you think you find is your own fault and we deny it. If you can prove something herein is true, we feel sorry for you)
Written created and copyrighted by Ben B. Boothe, Editor of Boothe Global Perspectives, 2016. If you print or quote it, please give me and Boothe Global Perspectives credit. If you in any way profit, share that with me fairly, we will talk and work something out. Otherwise, not to be quoted, copied, or used without permission and credit. If you would like to see further issues of the adventures of Abdul and Omar, write: benboothe@gmail.com and we will put you on the BootheGlobalPerspectives.com direct mailing list (readers in 30+ nations). Ben B Boothe, Sr.